Personal Hygiene and Conspiracy Theories

Cleans your Body, Mind, Soul, and Spirit!

So, being that this is the first time in my adult life that I’ve not been working or going to school full time, and being that because of that track record, I feel I may have missed out on a few crazy summers, wild spring breaks, snowboard trips with friends, backpacking trips through Europe, and overseas exchange programs…I felt that this down time was the perfect time to catch up on all those missed opportunities while I still can,which is exactly why I’m going on a solo trip to a cold, grey, forgotten Eastern European city to study the language of my husband. What, you don’t see the comparison? They don’t equal each other? No? Ok.
Well anyway, since I have so much time to prepare for my trip, I’ve been doing a little research on what to expect over there and what to pack. I’ll need to pack as light as possible to avoid paying exorbitant baggage fees, so I’ve tried to make sure everything I bring is multi-functional. I may have gone a bit far when I discovered this product called Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soap. Supposedly, it has 18 uses, it’s all organic, and the bottle claims that it will also cleanse your body, mind, soul, spirit, instantly uniting One! Wow, that’s pretty magical stuff. So after extensive home testing, I decided to toss my toothpaste, body wash, face wash, lotion, and laundry detergent, and I’m just bringing this instead. More room for souvenirs! Score!
Another fun product I found to bring was the Packtowl Ultralite, which is one of those travel towels that is basically a giant Shamwow and absorbs like 1 billion times its weight in water, dries in 30 seconds, and fits in your pocket. Why bring these things you say, aren’t you going to a civilized city with readily available necessities and consumer products? Hear this: My husband has been trained to transport giant oversized jars of multi-vitamins to his dad, and drug store brand hair colors and shampoos to his mom when he makes the trip back to Serbia. Why? Because they’re afraid their local versions are pirated, diluted, inferior, or knockoffs. This goes along with the whole conspiracy theory mentality that is so prevalent in these people. I mean seriously, why would anyone dilute a bottle of head and shoulders? But with the Serbs, conspiracy theories are widely accepted as fact, on every topic you could imagine, from old favorites like the moon landing and Kennedy assassination, to nearly every war, government body, politician death, and everything in between. So to avoid getting avoid getting scammed out of toiletries, or more likely, face the difficult challenge of finding a decent moisturizer while mentally converting Euros to Dinars to Dollars with a cashier, I decided to bring my own products. At least this way I know what I’m getting.

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2 thoughts on “Personal Hygiene and Conspiracy Theories

  1. Adrienne, I made the mistake of reading this in the lobby of work and burst out laughing in front of guests. I want to see these products when you get back.

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